I think I’ve lost the ability to be happy, the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, I use to smile to myself, I use to be happy. I don’t know whats wrong with me, and why the fuck is it effecting me this much. I hate this emotional roller coaster that Ive been riding since the new year. 2012 is not my year. Ive just had heartbreak after heartbreak, I don’t know how much more I can take. And every goddamn song brings back so many memories. Those memories made me so happy, the happiest that Ive ever been and now looking back at them hurts so much. I wonder if the things that remind me of you, remind you of me. Honestly, I think about us every damn day and now I’m so sick of it, I’m emotionally drained. I don’t want to think of you as an asshole because I know you’re not, and I pray that you don’t think of me as a bitch because that would be just terrible. I don’t know what went wrong…. I just wished we talked it out.

I was so close to having everything I ever wanted. I feel so pathetic feeling like this because you probably don’t give a shit. I never write shit like this but as I continue, Im feeling better. I put you on a pedestal, because to me you were were perfect. And now i’ll compare every guy to you. I think the only way to get over this s to find someone else who is better, but you made it so difficult. 

I was happy before you came, I’m trying to be happy now. I just want to be happy again. 

reblogged from mendmyheart
originally posted by satans-testicle